He’s lost it, he’s finally lost it – was the yells of the day
Possibly this was true, or Colin G has a sadistic streak in him that nobody knew about, whatever the case this was a run an’ a half. The Scottish rock climbing fraternity have the famous ‘Etive Slabs’ whilst us cyclists have the ‘Talla Wall’ – even the mention of such sends shivers through the calves of many a tough roadie. As the purple clad gang clustered within the sleepy hamlet of Crawford, many started to off-load their bikes from the car, whilst Colin G brought out his crampons, ropes and climbing irons – this should have been an early indication as to what he had planned. The run started well, with the bunch heading out and into the dark depth of South Lanarkshire before touching Dumfriesshire and then on to the Border country. Bang on cue, Colin G’s weak-bladder required the first refreshment stop – this is turning into a common theme. The group turned and headed up the first climb of the day, the Devil’s Beef Tub, sticking together most of the way up. There defiantly was a lack of breakaways on the day; could it be due to the absence of Colin M? Once we gained height on the Tub, Andy turned form cyclist to ‘tour guide’ and the club run began to resemble an Urquhart Tour (not because of the blue-rinse brigade, although Mandy’s perm did have a blue tinge to it). “Did you know that a Covenanter jumped down the Tub to escape death, and that there is a van on its roof at the bottom” – however, I’m not sure if the two were related. Our resident Tour Guide then pointed out the source of the Tweed – a muddy field! It wasn’t long before we turned and headed on to the single-track road heading towards the ever-anticipated ‘Talla Wall’. By this point, legs were beginning to quiver and some in the group were getting itchy on the saddle – a sure sign that more chamois cream should have been applied. As we approached the now dreaded ‘Talla Wall’ Colin G’s absence from the front was noted – was this due to the potential lynching he was going to get? In front was the road (or wall) heading up, up and up! Looking at the road clinging on to the hillside it appeared to be laughing at us taunting and teasing like a schoolyard bully. Inevitably, the group split with Gary heading off up the climb showing no fear over the unknown. Colin G gave chase, with a pace, resembling a slug climbing up a wall, whilst the rest unpacked their climbing boots and started to walk. Alan Mc thought he was going to make it until he looked up and saw Colin G swaggering about on the road ahead, suffering from altitude sickness, but still on his bike to the end like Tommy Simpson. Mandy made no comment at the top as to the toughness of the climb – silence was a clear indication as to her thoughts. At the top, the flock were gathered-up for the road down to the café stop at St Mary’s Loch, with the commencement of the Urquhart Tour again. The group headed back towards Crawford through Moffat and up the climb towards the Beattock Summit. On the long drag the group split forming a distinct pattern at the front with Alan C and Gary leading up the climb. It wasn’t until the final 10 miles that the pace picked up, with the ‘Talla Wall’ now a distant memory, what is Colin G plotting next…!
